Pictures:

Why did Jon quit his job at the marble quarry?

He was always between a rock and a hard place.

1272

What does an audio engineer do?

Provide sound advice.

1389

Which college shows the most compassion to fire victims?

Aw, burn University

484

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What is it called when police interrogate a hen?

Grilled chicken.

1722

What do you call a sick lawyer?

ill legal.

1432

Why was President Clinton elected in between Presidents George H. and George H.W.?

Because a Bill at hand is worth two in the Bush.

279

Which doctor is best to oversee your knee surgery?

The Joint Chief of Staff

186

What did the mason say when he realized an error was made on a headstone?

What a grave mistake.

256

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

Why do the Polish not force their cuisine on others?

They figure it's their pierogi-tive.

333

Why was the plumber scared to unclog bathroom sinks?

It was usually a hair-raising experience.

1024