Pictures:

Shane Ronay
General
Picture

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

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Shane Ronay
General
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How did Joe afford an expensive water filter system for his home?

At a liquidation sale.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did Tom get fired from the kitchen hardware business?

He couldn't get a handle on it.

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Shane Ronay
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What was the name of Joe's band, and which instrument did he play?

Band Joe.

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Shane Ronay
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What happened when a jar of pickles spilled onto music sheets?

It made sour notes.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What did the procrastinator tell those who said he'd never get anywhere?

"You just wait!"

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Shane Ronay
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Why do many people choose low-fat milk?

Whole milk wheys them down.

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Shane Ronay
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If it's bad to overbake a cake, what if you underbake it?

It's batter.

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Shane Ronay
General
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What happens to unsold bread from the bakery?

It's toast.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the pastry chef cut her chocolate cake at such sharp angles?

She wanted Brownie points

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Shane Ronay
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Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What's worse than a strong reprimand?

An icy stair.

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