Why did the judge put the man in jail for stealing from the bakery?

Evidence showed he really took the cake.

198

Which nut makes people sneeze?

The ca...ca...SHEW!

790

Which type airplane do people like to stare at?

A Leer Jet.

1566

Why did Ida Murphy come up with exactly 1,263 famous idioms?

That's all she wrote.

1791

What is the motto of the Gluten Intolerance Association?

The Pain of Grain Makes us Mainly Abstain.

235

What's happening here?

A cargo ship is trying to contain itself.

1503

Is the entire world starting to think the same?

No, just the indoctri nations.

1114

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

How was the octopus able beat the shark in a fight?

It was well armed.

795

How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

372

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

Is the quantum physics theory about electrons disappearing and reappearing elsewhere really true?

That's neither here nor there.

878