Pictures:

How did guests know chili would be served at the party?

Somebody spilled the beans.

1822

What do you call the top 2 Chinese translators?

The Co-Mandarin Chiefs

73

Why did the mother have sore hands?

She had meta-carpools.

1064

Why did the telemarketer use his clavicle to rest his headset?

Because that's his caller bone.

1063

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

What is the most important thing to have when sanding wood?

True grit.

1453

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

2217

Why did one man leave the card playing group of his wife's friends?

He needed to "de-talks".

506

What is the first phase of a liver transplant called?

De-livery

1958

Why did Jay attend traffic court for his illegal Left Turn?

He knew he was right.

1090

Why was the nurse pleased to immunize this boy?

Because she was giving him her best shot.

1800