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Akiva Lane
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Why did the mathematician plant an apple tree?

He knew how to multiply, so in addition he wanted to be fruitful.

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Akiva Lane
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If a person was stranded on a desert island, what color would he find there?

Maroon.

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Akiva Lane
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What happened when a truck carrying strawberries got into an accident?

A traffic jam.

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Akiva Lane
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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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Akiva Lane
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When you put chili sauce in the refrigerator in Santiago, what does it become?

Chile chilly chili sauce.

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What is Denise's brother's name?

De Nephew.

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How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a real man and one that is not real?

One is Sir Real, and the other is surreal.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you compare baseball, bowling, and unions?

Baseball: 3 strikes=out, Bowling: 12 strikes= perfect game, Union: strikes are unlimited.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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