Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill try not to reminisce about his days in the Merchant Marines?

He didn't want to miss the boat.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the doctor's wife say when his new practice was slow?

You just need more practice in your new practice, and you need patience for more patients.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan give pennies to people in the street?

He felt the people would benefit by common cents.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Andrea feel when she was running out of her favorite red perfume?

She felt bad that she was down to her last red scent.

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Akiva Lane
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Where did Joe and his friends go first when they got to the party?

They tried to beat each other to the punch.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the mouse avoid the mousetrap?

He just squeaked by.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia avoid eating almonds, cashews, and pecans?

Because they were nuts.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the person who a cougher coughs on called?

Coffee.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

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Akiva Lane
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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

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