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What does a popular website have in common with a highway at rush hour?

They both have a lot of traffic.

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What runs but stays in the same place?

A nose, a watch, and a faucet.

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What is a survey about telephone usage called?

A telephone poll.

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Why didn't Bill have a good vacation?

By mistake he went to a hostile instead of a hostel.

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How did the conversation go between a patient and the doctor who wanted him to cut down on mayonnaise?

Mayonnaise? No you may not.

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How do you describe someone who is scared about a plane he is about to get on?

He has reservations about the reservation.

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Why is the 'sea-food' diet so effective?

You see the food, but you don't eat it.

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What does a lawyer wear to a trial?

A law suit.

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How did Matt feel about the government diverting the river that made his stream dry up?

He thought it was ex-stream.

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What did Marty use as a guide to make decisions?

Ascend if sends a good scent and makes sense.

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How is America similar to those who figured out how to make a bus that looked like a cylinder?

Column bus discovery

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What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

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