Pictures:

How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

726

How do you describe professional athletes?

They are pro-active.

2766

What happened when Joe tripped on his neighbor's exposed sewer?

He wanted to sue her.

1195

What happened to Cynthia when she was in Hollywood and hit her head?

She saw stars.

668

What is it called when people make big letters on the ground?

Typography topography.

939

What is it called when a mystic is hopeful about the future?

Opti-mistic.

95

Why was the king nauseous?

Because the people were revolting.

1672

How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

2631

What do dentists never tell their patients?

Keep your mouth shut.

623

What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

1369

Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

2591

What 3 letters do you have to be very cautious and wary of?

NME

2398