Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why are rock bands from Finland kosher?

They have Finns and scales.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the light bulb have emotional problems?

Because it was turned off.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill make a rocket made of wood-work?

Because he thought it would work.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who is very good at finding things?

Pro found.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What is more minute than a minute?

A second.

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Akiva Lane
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Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

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Akiva Lane
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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
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When the nerve cell tells the muscle cell to contract, what is the muscle cell's reaction?

You have some nerve!

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Beth like pressing flowers?

She found it depressing, and she didn't like activities that were cut and dried.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

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