Pictures:

What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

1917

Why in the army do they avoid giving treats twice?

That would involve a re-treat.

1739

Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

2201

What aunt disagrees about everything?

Aunt Tithesis

2368

What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

289

What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

1219

What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

1036

What is a meal eaten by a pilot in a supersonic jet?

Fast food.

1154

What does the Constitution have in common with balancing a checkbook?

Checks and balances.

1158

Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

1781

How are computer disk drives different than car traffic?

It's good when disk drives are backed up, but it's not good when traffic is backed up.

2429

When the music tracks that Jay submitted lost the music competition, what was the ironic result?

He made a lot of money off the beaten tracks.

1127