Akiva Lane
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What did the world think about Edison's invention of the light bulb?

They thought it was a brilliant idea.

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Akiva Lane
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What do geese and cars have in common?

They both honk.

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What is it called when athletes learn to do the high jump?

Spring training.

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Akiva Lane
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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

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What is the university in Italy where they teach everything about olives?

Olive U.

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Akiva Lane
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Why don't matadors take bulls seriously?

Because they know that they are full of bull.

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Why did Jerry avoid taking hot baths?

He tried to avoid things that would get him into hot water.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who travels with light beams stored in jars?

He packs light.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

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Akiva Lane
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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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