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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who tunes the instruments for an opera house?

An opera tunist.

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What can be said about Betty who didn't clean the kitchen often enough?

She led a life of grime.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Fred accept rides with other people, and preferred to walk?

Because he didn't want to be taken for a ride.

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Why did Mrs. Roberts have only large pots in her kitchen?

She was embarrassed to ask a store 'Do you have a little pot?'

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What symbol is written before it is pronounced?

The dollar sign.

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What jail do bad jokes go to?

The pun-itentiary.

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What kind of running causes things to become empty?

Running out of things.

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How did the geometry teacher feel when she saw her children teaching geometry to her grandchildren?

She felt that life had come full circle.

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What did the waiter say when the customer sent the food back to the kitchen?

Thanks for the feedback.

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What happened when Max’s wife asked him to get plums from the grocery store?

He plum forgot.

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Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

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