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What did the man say after talking to the porcupine?

You have a lot of good points.

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What is a father that sells soft-drinks called?

A soda pop.

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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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How do you describe someone who has a lot of influence in the field of app development?

He has app pull.

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What do you call male child of a purse?

A purse son.

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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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Why was Emily always careful to treat bread carefully and with respect?

She didn't want to do anything that went against the grain.

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What is a repairman that fixes clocks called?

A tik-tok doc.

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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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What are people who work for the telephone company in Poland called?

Telephone Poles.

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Why did the maple tree feel bad?

When people took its maple syrup, it felt like such a sap, and it sapped its energy.

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