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How are computer disk drives different than car traffic?

It's good when disk drives are backed up, but it's not good when traffic is backed up.

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What day do armies go off to battle?

March forth.

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What do you call a bruise that one gets from falling on Halloween?

A boo-boo.

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What is a combination of a pig and a pine tree?

A porcupine.

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What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

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What happened when Phil decided to do a brain transplant?

He changed his mind.

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What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

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What is one result of inflation?

Goodbye to good buys.

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How do we know that the ancient Egyptians were not honest?

They were into pyramid schemes.

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What day in September do women give birth?

Labor day.

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What is an arrangement with UPS, Fedex, or DHL to send a package called?

A package deal.

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What do you call a rat whose name is Demmik?

Demmik Rat.

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