Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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Akiva Lane
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If the rule is "I before E except after C", why is the word Weird different?

Because the word is Weird.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the year do leaders have to be especially cautious?

The fall.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Oedipus feel when he found out about his parents?

Oedipus wreck.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens when debt gets out of control?

It debt-inates.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Evelyn go to only one store in the mall?

She felt: You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Martha become a vegetarian?

She realized what was at steak.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you get someone to say 'Who's there?'

You say 'Knock, knock'

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Akiva Lane
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What song mentions a fly that looks like a shoe?

Shoe fly, don't bother me.

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Akiva Lane
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What are reporters who never retire called?

Permanent press.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a person who is looking for parking like Lady Macbeth?

He feels like saying 'Out out damn spot'!

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Akiva Lane
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Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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