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Akiva Lane
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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Betty look for someone who loves ceilings?

She thought it would be cool if she got a ceiling fan.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a father from Iceland?

An ice pop.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Emily reluctant to use a tractor on her farm?

Because it didn't attract her.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a snake say when it bites?

Don't take it poisonally.

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How did the pig feel when the other pigs in the pig-hole called him a 'square'?

He felt like a square pig in a round hole.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

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Akiva Lane
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Can a person who complains all the time be a vegetarian?

No, because he always has a beef.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of bush can take you by surprise?

An ambush.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a Polish person who is fishing?

A fishing Pole.

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Akiva Lane
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What can be said about Edison's invention of the light bulb?

Both Edison and the light bulb were brilliant.

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