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Why was Fred concerned he was making too much noise while sleeping?

Because he slept so soundly.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

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What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

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What is it called when a homeowner tries to stop a foreclosure of his house?

House keeping.

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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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Why didn't Beth like pressing flowers?

She found it depressing, and she didn't like activities that were cut and dried.

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When do parents feel that they aren't parenting enough?

When - in relation to their kids - they feel only 'parenthetical'.

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What is a Tyrannosaurus Rex that is nervous?

A nervous Rex.

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What did the cheese say when it was shredded?

I feel grate.

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What vegetable is like a group that asks permission?

Let us.

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