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Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a company that certifies bones for dogs to chew on?

Bone-a-fide

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't Alan impressed with the running track inside of the windmill?

It was just run of the mill.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the singer embarrassed to go on stage and perform?

Because he was a little horse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the result of Joe not having enough self-control with eating?

He found that it was a big waist.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a person gets tired easily from being overweight?

Fatigue.

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Akiva Lane
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Since the hamburger was behind in the race, how could it win?

It needed to ketchup.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Billy find it so easy to climb walls?

Because he was so off the wall.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call something that is very, very natural?

Super natural.

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Akiva Lane
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How are kids similar to food?

If you don't care for them when they are fresh, they become spoiled.

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Akiva Lane
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When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are weddings often done under canopies?

To say that marriage is in tents.

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