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How did the hardware store advertise hammers that break easily?

They are unbeatable.

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Why didn't Jerry want to buy a car without a clutch?

He regarded it as shiftless.

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What would be the result if you used incense made from mushrooms?

A mushroom cloud.

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Why did Beth wonder if her husband had any thoughts in his head?

Because so often she felt that he acted in a way that was thoughtless.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

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How often is there a blue moon?

Once in a blue moon.

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If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

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If the color of the White house is white, what is the color of a green house?

A greenhouse is transparent because its walls are made of glass.

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What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

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What do they say about a great baseball player?

That the hits just keep on coming!

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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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