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Why did the runner not tie his sneakers?

Because he wanted to win, and not be tied.

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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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What do you call a collie with a flower in its hair and eating melon?

Melancholy Cauliflower

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Why was Betty happy with the work of the seamstress?

It was sew good.

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What is a party where everyone is treated equally.

A democratic party.

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What fruit is the favorite of men and women getting to know each other?

Dates.

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What is a gun in a hat called?

A cap gun.

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Why do you have to be very careful after drinking water?

Because after you drink it, it's drunk.

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What did Bill's therapist say about his putting plus signs in front of all numbers?

He said it was a good sign and a positive development.

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What does a surfer and new employee have in common?

They are both involved with on-boarding.

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