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Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

Why did the owners of the Secure Hotel change its name?

The guests felt uncomfortable being in Secure.

1883

When Alan and Betty Jones got lost during the African safari, what was their main worry?

They didn't want to be caught behind enemy lions.

909

When Alan was arrested, why couldn't he accept invitations?

He was fully booked.

1632

What's another name for a metronome.

A beat-nik.

787

Why did Beth try not to stir the pot of soup too much?

She didn't want to go stir crazy.

1877

Why was Arnold arguing with his stomach?

Because he ate something that didn't agree with him.

2007

What do you call an alligator who is a detective?

An investigator.

94

What is the holiest part of the foot?

The sole.

2419

What is it called when athletes learn to do the high jump?

Spring training.

940

How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

1467

How do you describe when someone eats too much too fast?

Haste makes waist.

2188