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What is the study of the fancy speech that con-men use called?

Prose and cons.

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Why did Sophia put on makeup?

She thought it was pretty imporant.

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How did Mr. and Mrs. Tern express their appreciation for each other?

One good Tern deserves another.

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Why is a mind like a parachute?

It only works when it is open.

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During the truce in a war, what soup did both sides eat?

Peas soup.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me comes the flood"?

He reigned for 59 years, and King Louis XIV reigned for 72 years, and after all that reigning, of course there would be a flood!

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What do you call someone who used to be a pert?

An ex-pert.

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Were the people in the Middle Ages bad people?

Not really, they were only medi-evil.

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When the teacher said there's no such thing in English as a double positive making a negative, how did a student respond?

Yeah, right.

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What do sales people do when they make big sales?

They have a sell-abration.

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What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

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How did the teacher feel when he realized that no one was paying attention to him?

He felt like he was the chairman of the bored.

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