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Akiva Lane
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What name for cigarettes describes the harm they do?

Sick-arettes.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is Ilan Musk very interested in learning about people who live in marshes?

Because they are marshans.

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How can psychiatrists charge so much?

Because people have to be crazy to pay those rates.

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What's the motto of a computer programmer who enjoys programming?

I never metadata I didn't like.

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What do you call someone who tries to reduce the time you have to wait for doctors?

A wait lifter.

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What did the fish say to the fisherman?

If you're interested, drop me a line.

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What is another name for the stock market dot com bubble that popped in 2000?

The Com before the storm.

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Why was the air traffic contoller fired?

Because he didn't know what was flying.

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Why did the prisoner eat food he was allergic to?

He wanted to break out.

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How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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Why did Alan think carefully about everything decision he made?

Because to do anything else would be unthinkable.

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