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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a delicatessen that specializes in lox?

A lox smith.

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Though Joe was a great pitcher, why did he insist on playing other positions on the baseball team?

He didn't want to be pitch-in holed.

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Why didn't Maxine like using coupons that could be torn out of magazines?

She thought they were a rip-off.

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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Why wasn't the company making money?

Its strategy made no cents.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe someone who is scared about a plane he is about to get on?

He has reservations about the reservation.

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How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

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What do you call a tree with poems attached to it?

Poet tree.

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What is an exact duplicate of a bicycle called?

A cyclone.

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Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

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What does a popular website have in common with a highway at rush hour?

They both have a lot of traffic.

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Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

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