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Akiva Lane
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Why did the programmer call an exterminator?

Because he had a bug in his program.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a pair of pants that wants to be forever young?

Peter pants.

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Akiva Lane
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What do these have in common: a fish in the ocean, doing things well, and a small apartment?

They all involve efficiency.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill react when he saw graffiti in his school?

He knew that the handwriting was on the wall.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Cynthia love her calculator?

Because she knew that she could always count on it.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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Akiva Lane
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What word describes a great car salesman?

He has car-isma.

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Akiva Lane
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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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Akiva Lane
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When things are ironic, do they become funny?

No, they're steel not funny.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who drives and flies a car-plane?

An auto-pilot.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is each skunk unique?

Because each is distinked.

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How would you describe the fact that ducks make more and better eggs than chickens?

It's a para-ducks.

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