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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Marty not want to get rid of his old beat-up car?

Because then he would be wreck-less.

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What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

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Why did Bill start running the 100 yard dash?

He wanted to get his life back on track.

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Why did Arnold start a company that makes shovels?

He wanted to do well in spades.

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How does a skunk know how to release its smell?

It uses its in-stinked.

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Why did the push-button go to the therapist?

Each time someone pushed it, it was depressed.

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What 5 one syllable words rhyme and are all dramatic?

Purge, surge, urge, merge, and splurge.

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What music makes a person feel like a worn out cloth?

Rag time.

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Why is the word 'laptop' misleading?

It shouldn't be used on the lap, because of the heat and radiation it generates to the body.

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What do you call birds who go to a house of worship?

Birds of pray.

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Is getting close to cousins important?

Yes, its relatively important.

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