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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it difficult to invest his money?

Because to him it didn't make cents.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the hot dog happy?

Because it was on a roll.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the opposite of an 'out voice', and what must be done with it?

An invoice, and it must be paid.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Terrie Gross's boyfriend find her mysterious?

Because her name was Miss Terrie.

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Akiva Lane
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If the Allentown bank merged with Capital One bank, what would it be called?

Al Capone.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the editor wear a sweater?

Because writers sent her many drafts.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the husband and wife feel very close to each other?

Because she was only one 'meet her' away.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call flies that are attracted to the smell of thyme?

Thyme flies.

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Akiva Lane
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While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

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Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a bar that got bad reviews?

The booze got boos.

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Akiva Lane
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What might a person be on if they can't be heard?

On mute.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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