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Akiva Lane
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What does life have in common with arithmetic?

It has its pluses and minuses.

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Akiva Lane
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Why wasn't Joe able to get the bank's low-interest loan?

Because the bank had low interest in giving the loan.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beverly feel with all the dirty dishes in the sink?

Dish-organized.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

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Akiva Lane
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After his cold, why did Phil feel like a pony?

Becauses he was a little hoarse.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the prisoner not want to take the anti-allergy medicine?

Because he wanted to break out.

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Akiva Lane
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What is inside a box of matches that falls from the sky?

A match made in heaven.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the motto of a clothing maker that encourages young men to wear vests?

Go vest, young man, go vest.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alan feel when he put down the heavy box of cucumbers?

Un-encumbered.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who doesn't care about what people say about him?

He has heard immunity.

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Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

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