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Akiva Lane
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What kind of food does a tight-rope worker try to eat?

A well-balanced diet.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

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What happened to the college when it didn't want to give its teachers a raise in salary?

It lost its faculties.

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Akiva Lane
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When the prices of houses go up, why do their roofs get weaker?

Because the prices go through the roof.

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What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the politician like to winnow grain on the farm?

He liked how it is spelled: win now.

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Akiva Lane
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What's a good motto for an internet store?

It's better to be online than on line.

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Akiva Lane
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What is candy in the shape of trains called?

Chew-chew trains.

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How did Bill describe his ability to make great tea?

It's my specialty.

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Why was the chef in the Italian restaurant so smart?

He really knew how to use his noodles.

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Why did Amanda stare at gifts before opening them up?

Her friends told her she should focus more on the present.

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Why did Dan double the size of the pockets on his pants?

He was told that to afford everything, he needed deep pockets.

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