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What do you say to a friend who is trying to uproot a tree

I'm rooting for you.

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When people asked Noah why he was building an ark, what did he answer?

Noah dea.

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How is a head cold similar to a lot of traffic?

They're both congested.

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How did Max feel about pulling his old couch to the junkyard?

It was such a drag.

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Why did Charles find a box of chocolates when he checked into his hotel room?

Because it was a suite.

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How did Marty know what types of kitchen counters his customers really wanted?

It was always counter-intuitive.

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How do you describe a person's writing that has lots of verbs?

It re-verb-erates.

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How did Cynthia feel about the fact that pollen counts were low?

She felt that was nothing to sneeze at.

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How is a supermarket similar to a flock of male sheep?

There are a lot of aisles (ayel is Hebrew for a male sheep)

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What is it called when the earth shakes around a duck farm?

An earth quack.

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What is a gym called filled with people who want to lose weight?

A waist land.

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When the patient said he had trouble with his memory, how did the doctor respond?

In that case, you pay me up front.

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