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What state keeps track of their Dell computers?

Delaware

2251

Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

1610

Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

3038

What is a Tyrannosaurus Rex that is nervous?

A nervous Rex.

300

Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

1936

What word and number indicate the winner of a race?

Won and 1.

721

When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

899

What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

1595

What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

3028

What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

1369

What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

247

Why did Avigail get mad when her 10 year old daughter put on lipstick?

Because it made her see red.

1049