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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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What did Cynthia say when her dog bit into her rye bread sandwich?

Something is awry!

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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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What did the Howard Knot Rope Company say about its competitors?

They're not Knot knots.

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What does Shakespeare getting sick have to do with feeling angry at someone?

ILL WILL.

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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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What is the trend called where people take pieces of coal with them on dates?

Carbon dating.

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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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What are building blocks made from sim cards called?

Sim City.

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What is the heaviest soup?

One Ton soup.

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What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

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What do you call a valley where convicted criminals make silly jokes?

Silly con valley.

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