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Akiva Lane
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Why did they hang the criminal?

He was looking for a loophole, and he found one.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the mother say to get her son to stop playing video games and come to dinner?

Step up to the plate.

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Akiva Lane
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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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What can you say about a candle before you light it?

It's met its match.

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What arm of the octopus is the strongest?

The Arm E.

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Why did Joe go to the paint store to lose weight?

He went to get thinner.

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Akiva Lane
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What did people call the baseball game where everyone got hits that got them onto first base?

A singles event.

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What does China and Turkey have in common?

They raise red flags.

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Akiva Lane
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How is are parameter lists similar to farmers?

They can have many fields.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Bill tired driving to New York over the George Washington Bridge?

It took its toll.

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What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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