Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What did the thread say to the needle?

I'm just passing through.

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Akiva Lane
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Where is Kuwait?

Between Iraq and a hard place.

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Akiva Lane
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What runs but stays in the same place?

A nose, a watch, and a faucet.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the therapist keep a bell in his office?

If what he said didn't ring a bell with the patient, he could ring the bell for the patient.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sally afraid that the vegetables would slap her?

Because she knew they were fresh.

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Akiva Lane
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Where do you go when it's night and you're in bed and you're tired?

You go to sleep.

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Akiva Lane
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What time is this?

A quarter after 5.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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What do economies and bicycle stores have in common?

They both have cycles.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did people think the silent owl didn't care about things?

Because it didn't give a hoot.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a large party where matzah is served?

A matzah ball.

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