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Akiva Lane
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Why is the word 'laptop' misleading?

It shouldn't be used on the lap, because of the heat and radiation it generates to the body.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a lawsuit, a birthday, and politics?

A lawsuit has 2 parties, a birthday has 1 party, and politics has many parties.

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Akiva Lane
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When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amy avoid dating men who publish magazines?

She found they often had issues.

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Akiva Lane
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What was the result of Joe not having enough self-control with eating?

He found that it was a big waist.

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Akiva Lane
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What's a good name for a tanning salon?

Tan Fastic.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe stop stealing, get a job with a salary?

He found that crime does not pay.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me the flood"?

Because he rained for 59 years.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the father tell his son who wanted to travel?

Roam wasn't built in a day.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who takes dents out of cars?

A dentist.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a zoo that feeds the animals zucchinis?

A zoo-kini.

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