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Why did Arnold fly in a plane over the North Pole?

He wanted to get over a cold.

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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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What do you call someone who tries to reduce the time you have to wait for doctors?

A wait lifter.

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What happened to the mathematical function that was very tired?

It couldn't function.

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What was the main fruit in Noah's ark?

Pears.

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How did Irving's family react when he wanted to be called Izzy?

They found it unnerving.

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What expression refers to an insect in the late spring?

Bee that as it May.

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Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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What was a misunderstanding between Bill and his wife?

She asked for toilet water for her birthday, and he didn't know it meant perfume.

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How do people sometimes feel when they are given the cold sholder?

Ice-olated.

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What famous saying does this represent?

Two bees or not two bees.

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What French Queen did not advocate dieting?

Marie Antoinette said 'Let them eat cake.'

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