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What special symbol weighs more than any other?

The pound.

2093

When Jim made a party on his yacht, why did he try not to invite too many people?

He didn't want to go overboard.

3324

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

2397

How did Abigail respond when her husband suggested that they go camping in the winter?

The idea leaves me cold.

1832

How did Arnold react when he got the job as conductor of the orchestra?

It was music to his ears.

521

What is it called when cars protest public lies by honking their horns?

Taking the bull by the horns.

628

What is a good motto for a sausage company?

We make the best wurst.

1032

What did the geologist call his book about the cliffs near the ocean?

Cliff's Notes.

2498

What do you call birds who go to a house of worship?

Birds of pray.

28

When do you stop looking for something?

When you find it.

2163

What is a baseball that fell into the sewer called?

A foul ball.

900

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

2875