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What is a machine called that helps bulls go to sleep?

A bull dozer.

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What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

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What runs but stays in the same place?

A nose, a watch, and a faucet.

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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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When Arnold found a well full of bees, why did he avoid it?

Because he wanted to be well.

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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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What vegetable is like a group that asks permission?

Let us.

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What are the coolest inventions?

The refrigerator and the air conditioner.

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Why did Sam invest in the perfume company?

It made a lot of scents.

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When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

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What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

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How is a person and a car different?

A person who is tired moves slowly, and when retired more slowly. When a car is tired, it moves fast, and when retired even faster.

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