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What state keeps track of their Dell computers?

Delaware

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Akiva Lane
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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the investor's nickname 'Yeast'?

Because wherever he put bread, it would rise.

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What is a Tyrannosaurus Rex that is nervous?

A nervous Rex.

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Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

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What word and number indicate the winner of a race?

Won and 1.

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When Jeff asked his friend, "What is worse, ignorance or apathy?" how did his friend answer?

His friend answered, "I don't know, and I don't care".

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What did Gil's back say when he returned from a trip?

I'm back.

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What do you call a small circle that is very relaxed?

Dot calm.

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What do you call a cat that steals things?

A feline felon.

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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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Why did Avigail get mad when her 10 year old daughter put on lipstick?

Because it made her see red.

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