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What did the mother say to get her son to stop playing video games and come to dinner?

Step up to the plate.

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What happened to the lawyer who spent too much time drinking at the bar?

He was dis-barred.

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What did Goldie Jones call her lock company?

Goldie Locks.

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What is this a picture of?

Air Bee and Bee

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If you can get 100 somethings for a penny today, how sure can you be that this will be the price tomorrow?

One hundred per cent.

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What is a very small phone called?

A micro phone.

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What do you call a chemical that makes you laugh?

A comical chemical.

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What do you call memories of stressfull times?

Past tense.

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Where is a runner from when he stops running?

Iran.

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Why was Amanda surprised that this perfume was so expensive?

She was told it was worth a red scent.

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How do you compare the words Mercy (English) and Merci (French)?

Mercy is what one asks for, and Merci is what one says after getting it.

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What postage is similar to a woman giving birth?

Special delivery.

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