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What is the lesson of daylight savings time?

If clocks can change, so can we.

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What do people in the US say when they want to use the metric system?

Take me to your litre.

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What kind of doctor is specifically assigned to you?

Your-ologist.

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What is a break in a wall that is very smart?

A wisecrack.

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Why did Alan give a tip to the bartender?

Because he felt tipsy.

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Why did the CEO move the company from the 3rd floor to the 4th floor?

Because he wanted to take the company to the next level.

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What month is not sure of itself?

May.

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What happened to the marionette puppet that misbehaved at school?

It was suspended.

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If you formed some herbs into a small submarine, what would be the result?

A suburb.

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What is the heaviest Chinese soup?

One Ton soup.

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What do you call an engineer that dries out the water from streams?

An ex-stream-ist.

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Why did the chiropractor avoid doing anything too experimental with his patients?

He was concerned it might backfire.

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