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What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

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Why is this very useful?

Because people say they'll do things when they get a round tuit.

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What's the motto of a clothing maker that encourages young men to wear vests?

Go vest, young man, go vest.

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What is confusing about alarms that get activated?

Do alarms go off, or do they go on?

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What kind of money can't be understood?

Non cents.

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Why did Milton Berle say he is going to stop turning around?

Because every time he turns around, another year goes by.

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What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

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What kind of exercize is not worth doing?

An exercize in futility.

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What is the university in Italy where they teach everything about olives?

Olive U.

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Why did a lot of people want to use Alan Richter's bathroom scale?

Because they wanted to know what they weighed on the Richter scale.

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What do you call blue-berries that are in a container underground?

Buried berries.

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How do people in Outland behave?

Their behavior is outlandish.

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