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What did Bill say when Max wanted to kill a bug that landed on Bill's watch?

You're not going to do that on my watch.

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What did the people on the ship say when they saw Jack the pirate boarding their ship?

Hijack.

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Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

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What vegetable has the best rhythm?

Beets.

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What did Beverly say to the nut platter?

You're all nuts!

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What is similar about these 2 pictures?

They are both sublime

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What do you call a chemical that makes you laugh?

A comical chemical.

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Why did they come up with the phrase 'The Fastest Gun In The West'?

They wanted a slogan for a fast gun.

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What kind of thinking do you need to eat Cracker Jack?

Out of the box thinking.

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On what kind of day does time seem to go slowest?

On a fast day.

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What do you call a veterinarian that used to be in the army?

A vet vet.

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What is the difference between a lawsuit, a birthday, and politics?

A lawsuit has 2 parties, a birthday has 1 party, and politics has many parties.

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