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Akiva Lane
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What did the large fan say to the girl holding it?

I'm one of your biggest fans.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia avoid eating almonds, cashews, and pecans?

Because they were nuts.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a good name for a store that sells sofas?

Sofa so good.

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How do you describe the taste of a spicy pun?

Pungent

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If a gun had children, who would they be?

Well, the boy would be a son of a gun.

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If a calculator falls and cracks, can you still use it?

Sometimes, but you can't count on it.

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Why did Jerry fly in a plane when he had a cold?

When he felt under the weather, he wanted to go over the weather.

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What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

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When the cat fell into a large bag of quarters, why was it so scared?

Because it was in close quarters.

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What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

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What is someone who can keep a secret called?

A secretary.

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Why did Jill often find it difficult to find her sneakers?

She suspected that it was because they were sneaking around the house.

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