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Akiva Lane
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Why is a young man and woman going out called a 'date'?

Because dates are sticky, and both are hoping it will be sticky.

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What gets larger as the things they represent get smaller?

The numbers associated with roads (highway 1 is larger than higher 4325)

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Why did Ben wear double-pane eye glasses?

He wanted to four-see what would happen.

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Why are the Patriot missiles kosher?

Because they have fins and chew their scuds.

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When you add up numbers, and are amazed at the result, what is that called?

Awe sum.

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Why are ticks in Rome full of love?

Because they are romantics.

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What would it be called if animals gave birth from their hands?

Pregnant paws.

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Why wasn't the company making money?

Its strategy made no cents.

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What did Betty realize after she ate inexpensive cake that was fattening?

That she was penny wise and pound foolish.

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When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

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What is another name of the dot-com bubble that burst in 2001?

The com before the storm.

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What do you call a veterinarian that used to be in the army?

A vet vet.

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