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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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How can we know when someone is ready for dating?

When their dating resume is UP TO DATE!

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Why is a child's cry called a wail?

Because sometimes it seems as big as a whale.

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Why did Marla always start walking with her right foot?

She wanted to put her best foot forward.

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What state was Maxine in when she found out that a person has 100,000 miles of blood vessels?

She was in a state of awe.

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What is a very strange flea market called?

A bizarre bazaar.

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Why did Arnold start a company that makes shovels?

He wanted to do well in spades.

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What do dates and apples have it common?

One comes from a palm tree, the other comes from a pomme tree.

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What city is known for being nice?

Nice, France.

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What is the name of the rock band that sings about failure?

Rock Bottom

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What do you call a group of investors that trust each other?

A trust fund

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Why didn't Jack understand his hat?

It was over his head.

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