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Akiva Lane
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What happens when a person has to work on Sundays?

It's a weakened weekend.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a happy insect called?

An uptick.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a policeman called when he's sleeping in bed?

An undercover cop.

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Why did trumpet players in the band feel bad after their performance?

They felt they blew it.

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What kind of pan is very disorganized?

Pan-demonium.

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Why did Jerry avoid taking hot baths?

He tried to avoid things that would get him into hot water.

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Why did the politician take a part-time job as a cashier?

He wanted to learn more about change.

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After visiting someone, when they say 'It's been great having you', how can you respond?

It's been great being had.

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Why did Andrea not want to take papers out of the file cabinet?

She was concerned that they might become defiled.

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What did Jim call his life after he decided not to major in math?

The aftermath.

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What name did Mr. and Mrs. Tross have second thoughts about naming their baby boy?

Albert.

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