Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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What cosmetics does a woman wear when she wants to end an argument?

Make up make-up.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the Constitution have in common with balancing a checkbook?

Checks and balances.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

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What did the paper say to the pen that was writing on it?

You have a good point.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the bad sergeant behave?

He was rotten to the corps.

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If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

A crack-pot.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.

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What do you call a house where you go to become more aware?

A warehouse.

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Akiva Lane
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What liquid is able to run?

Running water.

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How did the punster feel about making so many anatomy puns?

He made no bones about it.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Matt and Milly Preiss describe their successful day of parachute jumping?

The Preiss's fell down to earth.

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Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

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