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How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

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What can you say about a person who learns to say no?

That now he knows.

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What is the difference between an elephant and a car?

One has the trunk in the front, and the other has the trunk in the back.

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What is similar between most men's hair and re-planting a garden?

They are both re-seeding.

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What's the difference between looking for a parking space and washing clothes?

With one you want spots to appear, and with the other you wants spots to disappear.

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What can you say about an old couch that was fixed?

It was in bad shape, but now it's recovered.

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What is a motorcycle that attacks people called?

A vicious cycle.

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What two letters are used to make a spreadsheet?

XL

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Why did Jim feel like a flamingo?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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What bird is very curious about people?

The owl, because is always saying 'Who, who?'

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What is meat that falls on the floor called?

Ground meat.

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What is the difference between a child and Shakespeare?

One is involved with play, and the other is involved with plays.

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