Pictures:

How did Bill react when he saw graffiti in his school?

He knew that the handwriting was on the wall.

468

Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

3127

Why was the athlete with a very bad cold very sad?

His nose was running more than he was.

2749

How did the writer feel when his books were no longer cited?

He felt ex-cited.

2079

How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

1831

How did Johnny feel when he spent all the pennies in his piggy bank?

It left him cents-less.

97

What is similar between a house of worship and Swiss cheese?

They're both holy.

1548

What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

1036

What are the simplest 2 letters of the alphabet?

EZ

2940

Why did Bill start running the 100 yard dash?

He wanted to get his life back on track.

562

What did the choir call their concert in May?

A May Sing.

3237

What is ironic when we eat food because we don't want it to go to waste?

Often that's the food that DOES go to waist.

2472