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Akiva Lane
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How do you get rid of weeds?

You have to get to the root of the problem.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do internet browsers tend to gain weight?

They use cookies.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill describe his ability to make great tea?

It's my specialty.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Ben drink Maxwell House coffee before he went parachute jumping?

He wanted to be good to the last drop.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the chef in the Italian restaurant so smart?

He really knew how to use his noodles.

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Akiva Lane
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What dinosaur has a good vocabulary?

The thesaurus.

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Why didn't the cafeteria label their trays A, B, C, D, etc?

Because the second one would be 'betray'.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam try to bite a bunch of coins?

He wanted them to become bit coins.

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Why did Peter bite into a packet of money?

People told him he should put his money where his mouth is.

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Akiva Lane
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If a leader doesn't have a clear inspiring vision, what is the result?

Di-vision.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a banquet for bowlers called?

A bowling ball.

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