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What do you call spaghetti that is a double agent?

An im-pasta.

410

Why doesn't Superman go out after dark when he visits Krypton, Kentucky?

Because then it's Krypton night.

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What does the king of England have to do with writing a successful book?

They both involve royalties.

3206

What did the mid-wife say to the woman giving birth?

Grin and bear it.

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What is Martha's parrot's name, if its second name is Esther?

Polly Esther.

589

What do you call someone who takes dents out of cars?

A dentist.

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Why didn't Jerry mind if his dog didn't tell the truth when the dog was asleep?

Because he let sleeping dogs lie.

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Why did Maxine buy the more expensive bed?

It was bedder.

1869

What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

459

What does a very cooked steak and a great book have in common?

They are both well done.

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What was Samantha's reaction to the small flea market?

She thought it was a little bizarre.

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What is the heaviest soup?

One Ton soup.

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