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Akiva Lane
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During an uprising, what are random groups of armed men called?

Malicious militias.

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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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What did the cheese say when it was shredded?

I feel grate.

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Why did the towel feel so tired after it was used?

It felt like a wrung out towel.

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What vegetable jumps into the deep end of the pool?

The endive.

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What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

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What do you call a daisy with a bad sense of balance?

A whoopsie daisy.

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Why did Lisa carry a ball up the hill?

There were so many things she wants to do, and she wanted to get the ball rolling.

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If a pineapple is a collection of fused berries, what is it called if a detached berry doesn't want to re-join the group?

It is refusing to refuse.

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What do you call a doctor who prescribes a daiquiri cocktail flavored with hickory?

A hickory daiquiri doc.

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What can you say about a manager who enjoys firing people?

That he's playing with fire.

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Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

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