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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an engineer that dries out the water from streams?

An ex-stream-ist.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Alan enjoy exercizing by balancing on balls?

Because it helped him with the ability to be on the ball.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

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Akiva Lane
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If the animals on Noah's ark could play musical instruments, what would it be called?

An arkestra.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Lisa feel when she found that someone had pressed all the buttons in the elevator?

She found it depressing.

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Akiva Lane
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Are people in a family 'absolute'?

They are 'relative', that's why they are called relatives.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a pan called that is used to bake Pita bread?

Pita pan.

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Akiva Lane
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What illness do birds get after they fly a lot?

The flew.

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How did the comb feel after it had its teeth made thinner?

It felt fine.

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How was Bob able to eat donuts so quickly?

He was good at out-of-the-box thinking.

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What do discount stores and farewell parties have in common?

They have a lot of good buys.

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