Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How does wheat and rice know how to grow?

It's ingrained in them.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when something is discussed on X?

It is X-communicated.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the Teddy Bear feel after dinner?

It felt stuffed.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a very cooked steak and a great book have in common?

They are both well done.

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Akiva Lane
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What is up and down at the same time?

When you go to sleep drunk, and feel down when you wake up with a hangover.

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Akiva Lane
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When the lusion got sick, why wasn the doctor not concerned?

He said it was an ill lusion.

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Akiva Lane
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Why do female sheep often have an identity crisis?

Because they think, "I am a ewe".

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Akiva Lane
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What did Beth answer when Phil asked for a second date?

OK, I'll try a re-Phil.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the problem with debt?

The silent bee inside of it can sting.

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Akiva Lane
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the singer stand on a key?

He didn't want to sing off key.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

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