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Akiva Lane
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Why are all shopping malls very similar?

You see one, you see the mall.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a company that efficiently arranges organ transplants?

An organized organ organization.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of tea seems to last forever?

Eterni-tea.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the clothing store sell the last dress that no one seemed to want?

They made a 'dis dress' sale.

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Akiva Lane
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What has four wheels and flies.

A garbage truck.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you usually don't mind losing?

Weight.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of horse has sore muscles?

Charlie horse.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

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Akiva Lane
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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Arnold like kick-boxing?

He got a kick out of it.

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