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Akiva Lane
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When Joe was very tired, why did he go to the police station?

Because he needed arrest.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Bill feel when none of the off-switches for the lights worked?

He felt that they were all up-settings.

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Akiva Lane
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What is considered reasonable at the UN?

Things that are un-reasonable.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Akiva Lane
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What part of the day has the most Ning?

More Ning.

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What relationship involves the law of gravity at the center of the solar system?

The sun-in-law.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

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Akiva Lane
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Where does a mountain hiker sleep?

On bedrock.

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Why was Sandy sure that her daughter would become an actress?

Because every time she didn't get her way, she would make a scene.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam put his shoes close to the fireplace?

When people say 'hot shoes', he says 'G-d bless you'.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Betty feel when the neighbor's dog barked at her whenever she walked by?

She felt hounded.

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