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Akiva Lane
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What aunt disagrees about everything?

Aunt Tithesis

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Akiva Lane
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Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

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How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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What is a very strange flea market called?

A bizarre bazaar.

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What kind of thinking do you need to eat Cracker Jack?

Out of the box thinking.

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The order of what 2 syllables makes the difference between happy and sad?

Being upbeat is better than being beat up.

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What do you call a father who makes corny jokes?

Pop corn.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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How did Alan charge his cell phone?

He paid for it with a credit card.

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What is a party called where everyone is treated equally?

A democratic party.

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Why did Emily like making her bed in the morning?

Because then she felt like she had it made.

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