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Akiva Lane
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What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

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Akiva Lane
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What special symbol weighs more than any other?

The pound.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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Akiva Lane
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How did they describe the situation where the band's bass players were drunk?

The basses were loaded.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Matt guard his fence?

He didn't want anyone to take offence.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sandra like eating blueberries and strawberries.

They tasted berry, berry good, and they made her berry, berry happy.

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Akiva Lane
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What was Genghis Kahn's attitude that made him successful?

He was Kahn-fident.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a parrot chews off and swallows the weak end of a stick?

A weekend in parrots.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Sara confused when she learned about animals on a farm?

She couldn't understand how you could fit animals into a pen?

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a Polish person who is fishing?

A fishing Pole.

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Akiva Lane
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What relative did Bill Royd name the phone operating system after?

Aunt Royd.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Amy call her book about why people put other people down?

The Meaning of Demeaning.

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