Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a situation where Bill bought 2 ducks and he wants both to keep them as pets and eat them?

It's a paradox.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beverly avoid bidding too much at auctions?

She thought it might be considered morbid.

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Akiva Lane
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What is this called?

The last straw.

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Akiva Lane
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What seat lies?

Either 1. deceit or 2. a recliner.

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Akiva Lane
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What happens to an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the family put a big painting in their living room?

They wanted to get better at seeing the big picture.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was it that in the ancient world harps could not be trusted?

Because they were all lyres.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold always bet at the same race track?

He had a one-track mind.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Lisa buy things with pennies?

When she bought things, she wanted to use common cents.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry got a cold, why did go to the veterinarian?

He was a little hoarse, and he had a frog in his throat.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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