Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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Why did Billy have trouble learning to speak using future and past tense?

It made him tense.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are we held accountable for what we eat?

Because a person can choose what he chews.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Linda afraid of using Chapstick?

Her pharmacist said it was lip bomb.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the unemployed actor break his leg?

He wanted to be in a cast.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call an eating contest to see who can eat the fastest?

The gulp war.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Bill realize when he stood in the field at dawn?

As he looked OVER the morning DEW, he realized he shouldn't rush and OVERDO the things he hadn't done yet, though they seemed OVERDUE.

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Akiva Lane
General

What do you have when you remove the red lines?

love

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Akiva Lane
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What type of cleaner pushes men away?

Deter gent.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Olivia avoid eating almonds, cashews, and pecans?

Because they were nuts.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Jerry feel about missing out on the sale to learn kick-boxing for a year for free?

He could have kicked himself.

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Akiva Lane
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What do they say about a great baseball player?

That the hits just keep on coming!

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