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What was the double-jointed acrobat very good at?

Patting himself on the back.

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Why did the prophet need glasses?

He was far-sighted.

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When Betty felt the need to express herself, what did she do?

She drove on the the expressway.

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Why didn't Bill like raquetball?

He thought it was off-the-wall.

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What did the artist do before he made a sculpture of a person's head?

He had to plan a head.

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When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

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What are tests in cosmetic school called?

Make-up exams.

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How did Boris feel about losing the kick-boxing championship?

He wanted to kick himself.

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Why was the farmer surprised how much it cost to feed his chickens?

It was more than he expected - it wasn't chicken feed.

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What grammar is similar to regretting the past and worrying about the future?

Past tense and future tense.

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How did the sergeant know that he could take all the blankets that were needed?

He had blanket permission.

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Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

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