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Why did Janet eat from a bag of dates when she talked to Joe at work?

She wanted him to ask her for a date.

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How did Sam's parents react when he threw the cereal in the garbage without eating it.

They said he was a cereal killer.

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In what direction do people clean?

They clean up.

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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

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How did the mouse avoid the mousetrap?

He just squeaked by.

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What is another name for a frankfurter and beer?

Frank and stein.

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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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What did Arnold like about geometry?

He thought some of the angles were acute.

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How is a donkey being pulled similar to Mickey Mantle?

They are both yank-ees.

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What is the difference between an orange and a bad law?

An orange is peeled, and a bad law is repealed.

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How are vegetables different than kids?

Vegetables are bad when spoiled and good when fresh, but it's not good if kids are either fresh or spoiled.

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