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Akiva Lane
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Why is it so easy to feel relaxed while using the internet?

Because so many websites have 'dot calm' in their name.

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Akiva Lane
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What 3 letters are very exciting?

XTC

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Why do female sheep often have an identity crisis?

Because they think, "I am a ewe".

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Akiva Lane
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Why are rock bands from Finland kosher?

They have Finns and scales.

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Akiva Lane
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What are some things a person can do if they are stuck thinking about the past?

The can buy 'presents' for other people, or go to a river and look at the 'current'.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of bird doesn't sing, but only hums?

A hummingbird.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Mr. & Mrs. Bear get divorced?

They couldn't bear each other anymore.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about a manager who enjoys firing people?

That he's playing with fire.

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Akiva Lane
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How do Mr. & Mrs. Deer say hello to each other?

Hello Dear.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the light switch feel ambivalent about the people in the house?

Sometimes it felt turned off.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Edith insist on drinking tea out of her own cup?

Any other way was not her cup of tea.

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What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

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