Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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What does a piece of paper and a soda without fizz have in common?

They are both flat.

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How we do know that the thumb is the strongest finger?

It's a rule of thumb.

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How did the Curtis family feel after they had a pet bear for a month?

They couldn't bear it any more.

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What do you call a collection for money to plant bushes?

A hedge fund.

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What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

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If bored people chose a leader, what would the postion be called?

Chairman of the bored.

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Why did the baker really like his assistant who delivered wedding cakes?

Because he really takes the cake.

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What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

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What did Beverly say to the nut platter?

You're all nuts!

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What do labor unions have to do with your son's friends sleeping over?

Boy cots.

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