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Akiva Lane

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When Mitchel lost money in a risky investment, why did he feel like his clean suit?

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Because they had both been taken to the cleaners.

1374

Akiva Lane

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If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

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A crack-pot.

Akiva Lane

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What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

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They're all men.

1531

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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

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You are THE wurst.

2825

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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

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A quarter to ate.

174

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What is ironic about a large lighthouse?

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It's both a lighthouse and a heavy house at the same time.

2923

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Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

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You stay put.

612

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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

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A size-mologist.

143

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What did the king's wife say to the king?

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Reign, dear.

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What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

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Divide and conquer.

2558

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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

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They are both quacks.

2526

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Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

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He felt he could use all the training he could get.

2719

When Mitchel lost money in a risky investment, why did he feel like his clean suit?

Because they had both been taken to the cleaners.

If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

A crack-pot.

What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

What is ironic about a large lighthouse?

It's both a lighthouse and a heavy house at the same time.

Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

He felt he could use all the training he could get.

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