Pictures:

When Mitchel lost money in a risky investment, why did he feel like his clean suit?

Because they had both been taken to the cleaners.

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If an earthen-ware pot gets cracked, what is it called?

A crack-pot.

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What does a policeman, a fireman, and a doorman all have in common?

They're all men.

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What did the vegetarian say to the salami?

You are THE wurst.

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What time is it 15 minutes before you finish a meal?

A quarter to ate.

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What is ironic about a large lighthouse?

It's both a lighthouse and a heavy house at the same time.

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Where do you stay if you don't want to move?

You stay put.

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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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What did the king's wife say to the king?

Reign, dear.

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What kind of arithmetic did Julius Caesar like?

Divide and conquer.

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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

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Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

He felt he could use all the training he could get.

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