Akiva Lane
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How did the young lady feel when her date was rude?

She felt dis-missed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Fred always cut into lines?

Because his doctor said he should lose wait.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Evelyn dislike being near chickens?

Because they used fowl language.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the best month to buy and sell jewelry?

Jewel-eye.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Akiva Lane
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What's the advantage of buying eye glasses with frames colored by Rose Jones?

You can see through Rose-colored glasses.

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Akiva Lane
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What does Shakespeare getting sick have to do with feeling angry at someone?

ILL WILL.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the blues band remind Bob of his days hunting whales?

The wailing reminded him of whaling.

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Akiva Lane
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What is special about the sentence "See, yes we can!"

It's YES in 4 languages: Spanish, English, French, and Hebrew

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Akiva Lane
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What did Alice call the hair she cut off because it was full of knots?

Forget me knots.

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Akiva Lane
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How is a meal like archery?

It's best when it hits the spot.

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Akiva Lane
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What involves getting into the nitty-gritty of what is right and wrong?

Inte-gritty.

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