Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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When the desire to repent is pent-up, where does one repent?

In a pent-house.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Joe find it hard to get a date?

Because his attitudes were dated.

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Akiva Lane
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While building his porch, why was Arnie looking for something called 'scratch'?

Because he was building it from scratch.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the alien feel when trying to socialize with people?

Alienated.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a big fine for drunken driving have in common with English grammar?

Sin tax.

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Akiva Lane
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Why does a rope get smarter when you pull on it?

Because it gets taught.

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Akiva Lane
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Why didn't Jack understand his hat?

It was over his head.

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Akiva Lane
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What is someone called who can't stop weaving on a loom?

A loomatic.

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Akiva Lane
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What song verses appeal to everyone, and where do they teach this?

Uni-verse, taught in a Uni-verse-ity

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the athlete's manager have him take trains instead of planes?

He felt he could use all the training he could get.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Alice feel when the point of her pencil often broke?

She thought, 'What's the point of using pencils? I'll use pens instead.'

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Akiva Lane
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Why was Jeremy concerned when he couldn't take off his pickle costume?

Because if he couldn't get it off, he was really in a pickle.

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