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Akiva Lane
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Why was the air traffic contoller fired?

Because he didn't know what was flying.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Bob say to the fly that what bothering him?

Don't bug me.

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Akiva Lane
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What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

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Akiva Lane
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Does the Moot Pencil Company make very sharp pencils?

That's a moot point.

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Akiva Lane
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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold dislike snakes?

He felt they were creepy.

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Akiva Lane
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What would ticks be called if they were found on the moon?

Luna-ticks.

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Akiva Lane
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How would you describe Luke Skywalker if he's not that friendly?

Luke warm.

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Akiva Lane
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What do shoes and noses have in common?

They both smell.

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What is it called when a fusion nuclear reaction starts acting unpredictably?

Con-fusion.

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What Italian dish is similar to New York City in the summer?

Baked City.

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When the pioneers cut down trees to clear the land, how did they feel about the difficult process of uprooting the tree stumps?

They felt stumped.

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