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What is Martha's parrot's name, if its second name is Esther?

Polly Esther.

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What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

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How did Jim feel when he walked barefoot on seashells at the beach?

He was shell shocked.

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If the animals on Noah's ark could play musical instruments, what would it be called?

An arkestra.

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What do garbanzo beans have in common with a sedative for chickens?

Chick peace.

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What do you call a crockpot that is broken?

A crackpot.

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What is the most popular being in the sea?

The star fish.

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If a hiker meets in the woods a large bear on the left and a small bear on the right, what should he do?

Bear right.

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Why did King Louis XV say, "After me comes the flood"?

He reigned for 59 years, and King Louis XIV reigned for 72 years, and after all that reigning, of course there would be a flood!

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When the music tracks that Jay submitted lost the music competition, what was the ironic result?

He made a lot of money off the beaten tracks.

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Why is the word 'laptop' misleading?

It shouldn't be used on the lap, because of the heat and radiation it generates to the body.

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What did the family call their evening meals at their round dining room table?

The nights of the round table.

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