Akiva Lane
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What happened when the electrician found his mind wandering?

He had a very shocking experience.

1940
Akiva Lane
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What did Betty realize after she ate inexpensive cake that was fattening?

That she was penny wise and pound foolish.

1671
Akiva Lane
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How did Marty respond when his wife accused him of drinking a fifth of whisky?

He pleaded the fifth.

1831
Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill get furious at the person who tried to steal his goat?

It really got his goat.

1309
Akiva Lane
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What kind of tea inspires caring for other people?

Humana Tea.

1625
Akiva Lane
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Who is not very good at match-making?

Smokey the Bear, because he doesn't like playing with matches.

1378
Akiva Lane
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Why did people think the silent owl didn't care about things?

Because it didn't give a hoot.

2416
Akiva Lane
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When Maxine was offered wine, what did she answer that was misinterpreted?

Wine, not.

1931
Akiva Lane
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What did Max say when the mechanic said he must fix the car brakes?

Those are the breaks.

374
Akiva Lane
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How does a skunk know how to release its smell?

It uses its in-stinked.

162
Akiva Lane
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What is Martha's parrot's name, if its second name is Esther?

Polly Esther.

589
Akiva Lane
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What is it called when carpets are dropped out of planes?

Carpet bombing.

1878