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Akiva Lane
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What did Bill say when Max wanted to kill a bug that landed on Bill's watch?

You're not going to do that on my watch.

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If a window was put into the neck of the Statue of Liberty, what would it be called?

A pane in the neck.

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When Bill had to choose between a heavy oar and a light oar to use with his kayak, what did he choose?

Either oar.

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Why did Max fire his accountant?

Because Max told him he wanted the business to be liquid, and the accountant thought he said 'liquidated'.

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Whenever Emily had an appointment, what was her hope?

That it wouldn't be a dis-appointment.

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Since Jill was on a diet, why was she concerned that the math problems on the test were too easy?

Because they were a piece of cake.

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How was Jim doing in the track and field competition?

He found that winning faced a lot of hurdles.

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Why did Bill get arrested when he was boarding a plane?

In a loud voice he said 'Hi' to his friend Jack.

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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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When Martha was quiet when she found out she was pregnant, what was that called?

A pregnant silence.

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Akiva Lane
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Why should we be very careful handling glass?

There's a reason it's called a pain of glass.

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What is a problem with the summer?

The weather is heading for a fall.

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