Pictures:

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

Because it's pointless.

971

When does Friday come before Thursday?

In the dictionary.

992

Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What do you call shoes made of banana peels?

A pair of slippers.

970

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

Why didn't Bill use his photographic memory?

He never developed it.

961

What gets wetter the more it dries.

A towel.

979

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What starts with a T and ends with a T and has T in it?

A teapot.

991

Why didn't Joe buy camouflage trousers at the store?

He couldn't find them.

958

What did the lawyer wear to work?

A lawsuit.

969

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

990