Pictures:

How did the hardware store advertise hammers that break easily?

They are unbeatable.

2405

How did Bill feel after he spent time crushing soda cans?

It was soda pressing.

613

Why couldn't Melissa figure out Eddie Edwards?

To her, he was Mister E.

2012

How do you distinguish between a numerator and denominator?

There's a fine line between the two.

1013

Why did the rock band like playing on wide stages?

They liked having good bandwidth.

1641

What Beatles song is about a bee in a vegetable garden?

Lettuce bee.

123

Why are fast runners good looking?

Because they are dashing.

1614

What food is good for protecting a house?

Lox.

1743

Why did the army's mortar shells keep falling out?

They were dealing with a loose canon.

215

Why did Fred spend a lot of time looking around the horse stable?

His therapist said his life should be more stable eyes'd.

1099

Why did the Jack-in-the-Box have trouble getting married?

He was an out-of-the-box kind of guy.

2926

What is a newspaper that puts you asleep called?

The snooze news.

455