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Why was Jill relieved after she put the lid back on the peanut butter jar.

Because now it's recovered.

92

What is clothing from Italy called?

Italian dressing.

3078

When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

1663

What do those who negotiate atomic non-proliferation treaties study?

Nuclear Medicine

2003

What is a good motto for a sausage company?

We make the best wurst.

1032

What 5 letter word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

The word 'short'.

988

What do you call a President that is also a dentist?

President-ist.

2273

Why did Bill order these to wear himself?

He's trying to lose weight through resistance-training.

1514

What did the lottery operator do when a group of actors won the lottery?

She counted her lucky stars.

458

Why didn't Jerry mind if his dog didn't tell the truth when the dog was asleep?

Because he let sleeping dogs lie.

145

What happened when Arnold didn't recognize Emily Takin?

He was mistaken about Miss Taken.

925

Why did the cybercriminal stop, and get a real job?

He couldn't hack it.

2241