Pictures:

Why should you take a sharp pencil seriously?

It has a good point.

1762

Why wasn't Alan impressed with the running track inside of the windmill?

It was just run of the mill.

2113

How do cows buy things?

Through a cattle-log.

1206

What vegetable jumps into the deep end of the pool?

The endive.

1719

What do you call aluminum foil that misbehaves and has too much power?

Alumi-naughty.

3244

What do skyscrapers and libraries have in common?

They have a lot of stories.

2392

What are batteries called when they no longer work?

Badderies

3182

What do you call a delicatessen in a mental hospital?

A psycho deli.

1917

What do you call a tree that has apples for a pie, and it's root is shaped like a square?

The square root of pie.

2008

Where do baseball teams store their baseball bats?

It the bat room.

3163

Why didn't Andy drink the cup of tea that was left in the restaurant?

Because it wasn't his cup of tea.

1022

Why do UN ambassadors stay so healthy?

Diplomatic Immunity

2956