When John proposed to Joan, what playing card did he look like to Joan?

The King of Hearts.

771

What did Fred say when the computer store added memory to his laptop?

Thanks for the memories.

340

Why did J.K. Rowling stop writing Harry Potter books after the 7th one?

That's all she wrote.

1305

How did the English teacher teach the class spelling?

She cast them under her spell.

829

What did the waiter get when he served a meal of iceberg lettuce?

The tip of the iceberg.

936

Two women named Annette auditioned as flamenco dancers, but the director couldn't decide which to choose. What did he do?

He cast Annettes (castanets)

818

Why was the homeowner scared of the zombies at his front door?

They were dead ringers of friends of his.

1277

Why did the CEO have all the corporate planes painted red?

He didn't want them to be too plane.

527

When Sharon found an old copy of Crime and Punishment, what was she holding?

A dusty Dostoevsky.

676

What's another name for computer generated music?

Algo-rhythm.

147

Why should we be very cautious about being cynical?

Its first syllable is sin.

68

Why didn't people trust the model E phone?

They thought it was a phoney.

1170