Pictures:

Why did the small pail go to the doctor?

Because it was a little pale.

2831

How do we know that the water in back of a boat is not asleep?

Because it's a wake.

887

What is similar between a baseball player and a guard at a large party?

They both try to keep their eye on the ball.

2448

How to properly refer to someone convicted for illegally texting?

Con-text

1093

What is a happy insect called?

An uptick.

3135

What is it called when someone had a good date, and tells you about it?

An update.

2186

What is similar between a teenager with a credit card and a rhinoceros?

They are both dangerous when they are charging.

1629

How did the smoker, who craved a cigarette, feel when he got to smoke one?

Nicotine in the nick of time.

3137

What do you call an ambulance for alligators?

Gator Aid.

314

What is a well after the repairman fixes it?

Well adjusted.

710

Which type of make-up remover is used by all genders?

Withdrawing an apology

1811

What are people called who have a tendency to act on a whim?

Whim-men.

3212