Pictures:

What did the Mayor say about the turnstile jumping on the subway?

That's not fare!

1476

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?

Congress.

298

How was the rabbit rewarded for keeping mice out of the garden?

With an increase in celery.

1443

What type of tree is this?

A Pair Tree

1506

What do people on the Keto Diet use to measure their food intake?

A carburetor

1318

Why did the police enter the comedy club?

The comedian was a riot.

2051

Why is it good to limit the amount of news you ingest every day?

It's not a coincidence that it's called De Press.

1943

What is happening here?

The ketchup is trying to catch up.

2922

What's the name of the lady who owns the Japanese restaurant?

Sue, she.

339

What kind of exercize is not worth doing?

An exercize in futility.

857

Why must all people grow spiritually?

It's our soul purpose.

1993

What is the name of the rock band that sings about failure?

Rock Bottom

3053