Pictures:

How do you describe a situation where Bill bought 2 ducks and he wants both to keep them as pets and eat them?

It's a paradox.

3349

How do you describe a mediocre seamstress?

A so-so sew-sew.

485

What's an inefficient way to kill ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

1814

When everyone quit the baseball league except Joe, why wasn't Joe upset?

Because now he was in a league all by himself.

2401

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

What kind of exercize is not worth doing?

An exercize in futility.

857

What does the Eiffel Tower have in common with a tick?

They are both Paris sights.

1875

What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

905

What kind of key can make you drunk?

Whiskey.

2961

What are our great-grandfathers called?

Our four fathers.

2470

What happened when Anne went to the used watch store to fix her watch?

She got a second hand second hand.

2300

What’s the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?

One is disgusted by a rack of lamb, and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.

3241