Pictures:

What's another name for the period leading up to the dot com bubble bursting?

The com before the storm.

1655

How can you help people who are suspicious?

Change the first letter of suspicious from S to A, to make it auspicious.

1778

What can you say about a candle before you light it?

It's met its match.

1528

Why did the butcher not take down the steaks from the top shelf of his freezer?

Because the steaks were too high.

3203

How did Jack learn to give himself a haircut?

He knew it off the top of his head.

2127

Why did Andy try using lots of apps?

He thought they would make him appy!

3403

Come Precious...it's time for dinner!

Not right meow.

2061

Why do we peel fruit?

If fruit has a peel, it doesn't have appeal.

2328

Why did Eileen Terr's name confuse people?

Because people called her Miss Terr.

2793

Why was the hungry secretary like a clock?

At meetings she took minutes, and at meals she took seconds.

2201

Why is being grateful the best investment?

It always appreciates.

2159

What song does this represent?

Oh say can you see.

2874