Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

412
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

How did this farmer increase his bottom line?

He added a new machine to cut celeries.

1806
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

How did John feel when his alarm clock woke him up?

He found it alarming.

112
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What was Bill's reaction when someone approached him with a negative attitude?

He was non-plussed.

1686
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is a father that sells soft-drinks called?

A soda pop.

78
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was the conductor proud of the orchestra he started?

He was very instrumental in its formation.

2721
General
Picture

What do you call a store that sells candy and serves liquor?

A candy bar.

3331
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

2101
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What is it called when someone corrects a Morse code message they regretted sending?

Re-Morse.

2656
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

What demonstrated Rover's loyalty most?

He'd jump through hoops.

1820
Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Is it good to tie something with a frayed knot?

I'm afraid not.

1634
Shane Ronay
General
Picture

How did the tycoon ask his architect to design a modest home?

He said, "Don't mansion it".

2034