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What fruit can't get married quickly?

Cantaloupe.

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What happens when the king's neck hurts?

He has a royal pain in the neck.

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What does a mix of chemicals and the answer to a problem have it common?

They are both called a solution.

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If FedEx merged with UPS, what would the new company be called?

Fed Up.

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What do you call kids eating chips?

The munch and crunch bunch.

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Why do people like peeling their own fruit?

Because if other people peel it, it has less appeal.

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When do you tell people what they are?

When you tell them, 'You are welcome'.

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Why did Bill's tongue always hurt?

Every time he wanted to say something that he shouldn't say, he bit his tongue.

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What kind of glasses are these?

They're reading glasses.

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How did Irving's family react when he wanted to be called Izzy?

They found it unnerving.

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What is it called when a boy in the family sets the table?

The setting son.

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What letters are asleep?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

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