Pictures:

Why don't they sharpen pencils at both ends?

What's the point?

1687

What 2 letters and 2 numbers mean 'safe dog'?

B9 K9

2037

What are the best schools to learn about intravenous feeding?

The IV league schools.

3257

When Mark Gen was knighted, what kind of doctor did he automatically become.

Sir Gen.

1889

What is something called that makes you angry?

A pre-curser.

1921

What is it called when someone had a good date, and tells you about it?

An update.

2186

What do you call a delicious English herring?

Yum kippers.

437

Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

3197

Horses are fun to ride...

...but make terrible neigh bors.

1485

Why should you be careful with things that seem great?

Because great begins with the word grey.

1574

Which vegetable is best served mashed?

Squash

1046

Why was the cow afraid?

It was a cow-ard.

1310