Pictures:

How did the mouse avoid the mousetrap?

He just squeaked by.

1994

Why did Bill not become a gastroenterologist?

He didn't have the guts.

2018

What do you call noodles that are very fresh?

New-dles

1019

What happens if certain fowl don't build insulated nests for winter?

They go cold turkey.

1276

What is a problem with the summer?

The weather is heading for a fall.

1668

What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

3090

Why did the family chissel their names in the tree in the backyard?

They were making a family tree.

3087

What did Amy call her book about why people put other people down?

The Meaning of Demeaning.

1846

What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

1848

How do telephone operators work together?

They co-operate.

2555

What state keeps track of their Dell computers?

Delaware

2251

Did this school receive its name on purpose?

No, by occident.

487