Pictures:

What does praying and Swiss cheese have in common?

They are both holy.

530

Why should we be careful about illusions?

Because it begins with the word 'ill'.

106

What is the difference between being united and being untied.

Getting 'it' backwards.

85

What is used to lubricate the joints of a robot?

Elbow grease.

999

What do you call a closet filled with bottles of water?

A water closet.

3269

Why was Bob always looking down at his wife's high heel shoes?

Because he was head over heels over her.

1578

After the hour and minute hand of a clock, what is the 3rd hand called?

The second hand.

89

What was Fred's reaction when someone suggested that he become a chiropracter?

He was taken aback.

3210

What is someone who can keep a secret called?

A secretary.

735

What's the opposite of a Thanksgiving turkey?

A spring chicken.

1011

How do billboards communicate with each other?

Sign language

206

A field of hole wheat.

1076