Pictures:

Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

2124

What can we learn from the fact that the US will no longer be making pennies?

That it no longer has common cents.

3200

Does this letter want to wait?

No, it's ready.

3327

What happened to the circus performer who swallowed a wood file?

He got a raspy voice.

1006

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

974

When the teacher gave a surprise quiz, why did he have the students stand on a big circle?

Because they had to remember everything on the spot.

3120

What's the best way to get people to listen to you?

Create a heeded discussion.

1496

Why was the newborn baby bored?

Because his mother just bore him.

1781

What is a musical band of orca whales called?

An orca stra.

2514

Why does a rope get smarter when you pull on it?

Because it gets taught.

96

What do you call a bathroom for both men and women?

A democratic potty.

2979

What is it called when you're on a boat and invite people to play and no one shows up?

You're not playing with a full deck.

2428