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Why did Betty buy a very large plate?

Because she had so many things on her plate.

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What was the plastic's response when the steel suggested that they get together?

I'm flexible.

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What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

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What can you say about these workers?

They are onion-ized.

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Why did the plumber do this in response to the judge?

He thought the judge asked for water in the court.

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Why was Bill so exhausted after a day of putting tires on the inner rings of car wheels?

It was tire ring.

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What happens to old Texas Rangers who can no longer serve?

They become de-ranged

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When do you want to be put down?

When making an appointment.

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What is the difference between an optometrist and a psychologist?

One is an eye doctor and the other is an 'I' doctor.

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How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

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What did the pan say when it was covered with aluminum foil?

Foiled again!

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What do you call a company that efficiently arranges organ transplants?

An organized organ organization.

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