Pictures:

Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What vitamin is good for the eyes?

Vitamin see.

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Shane Ronay
General
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Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

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Shane Ronay
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How did the Head of Engineering at MIT get his job?

By being a roads scholar

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Shane Ronay
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What are the odds that this man will slim down?

A fat chance.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Why did Arlene find it hard to let the water out of the sink?

She found it draining.

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Akiva Lane
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What kind of fruit did they use against Donald Trump?

He was impeached twice.

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Shane Ronay
General
Picture

Why don't people realize when the owner of a flower shop makes fun of them?

They can't see the florist for the tease.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What kind of angle has the most confidence?

A right angle.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What is a cartoon of puppets on strings called?

Suspended animation.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

Why was Joyce amazed when she saw what came before posterous?

It was pre-posterous.

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