Pictures:

What is a fancy expensive scale called?

Upscale.

1771

What does a liquor store have in common with a crowded highway?

They both have bottlenecks.

1848

Why didn't the two gangs have their scheduled showdown?

Because one gang didn't show up.

650

What did Mr. electric eel says to Mrs. electric eel?

You look absolutely stunning!

3052

What object sounds like it was stolen, and what object sounds like it has seen a lot?

The lute and the saw.

2455

What are 5 tow trucks?

A foot truck.

1429

What is someone called who is always thinking about buildings?

He has an edifice complex.

207

Where you can get chicken broth in bulk?

The stock market

794

What is a program called that tries to convince people to become doctors?

Indoctorinzation.

1031

How did Jerry feel about missing out on the sale to learn kick-boxing for a year for free?

He could have kicked himself.

1150

What is it called if someone thinks they can learn Torah by listening to Beatle music?

Beatle Torah.

2483

Why are shovels so important to society?

They are a ground-breaking tool.

798