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What does getting up in the morning have to do with Newton's laws of motion?

A body at rest tends to stay at rest.

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What ancient city was named after the wife of Uncle Ock?

Antioch

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What happened to Martha when she fell into the large strainer that she was using?

She strained herself.

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How did Bob react when his friend said, 'You look so sunburned, did you use enough sun tan oil'.

Bob responded, 'You don't have to rub in in.'

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Why did the family try to get Mark and Sam Enz to stop their argument for 10 years?

It was important to make Enz meet.

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Why didn't Janet want to wait in line for 5 hours for tickets to the concert?

She didn't know if she could stand it.

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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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What US President had the most clothes to clean?

Washington.

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What sauce can you use if you're behind in a race?

Ketchup.

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Akiva Lane AI
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What do you call a bruise that is in the side of a beet?

A beet nick.

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Akiva Lane
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What do longshoremen and medical secretaries have in common?

The both work at the docs.

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What is it called when someone decides not to do costmetic surgery on their face?

They're doing an about face about their face.

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