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Akiva Lane
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What issue was Beth thinking about when deciding whether to vote Republican or Democrat?

If the elephant was relevant.

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Akiva Lane
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What psychiatric tool is similar the noses of hippies?

Hip noses.

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Akiva Lane
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In 1900 two brothers tried to make an airplane, why did they fail?

Because they were the wrong brothers.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the person who smoked too much go to Istanbul on a cold day right after Thanksgiving?

Because he wanted to go cold Turkey.

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Akiva Lane
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When Andy gave Meg the engagement ring, what playing card did Meg feel like?

The Queen of Diamonds.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the editor wear a sweater?

Because writers sent her many drafts.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Mr. Roberts take his key with an R attached, and put in on the upper hook on the wall?

He believed in the principle of higher R key.

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Shane Ronay
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What are abortions called in Czechoslovakia?

Cancelled Czechs

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Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a child and Shakespeare?

One is involved with play, and the other is involved with plays.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Beth try not to stir the pot of soup too much?

She didn't want to go stir crazy.

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Akiva Lane
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What is one result of inflation?

Goodbye to good buys.

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