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Akiva Lane
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What is an Eskimo father called?

An ice pop.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a dog called that swims back and forth in a pool?

A lap dog.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call horses that live next to each other?

Neigh-bors.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the pet turtle escape from the box it was in?

With out of the box thinking.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the philosopher become a locksmith?

He wanted to find the key to happiness.

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Akiva Lane
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How is waiting in line similar to being a doctor?

You need patience.

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Akiva Lane
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What does a warning label on a large strainer say?

Don't strain yourself.

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Greg Stevens
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What is the key to the monastery called?

The monk key.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the vegetarians react when Melinda offered to bring sweet and sour chicken to the party?

They said, keep your two scents out of it.

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Akiva Lane
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After Bob broke his leg, why wasn't he able to control his kids?

Because he couldn't put his foot down.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a successful young man that hardly ever sleeps?

A son that never sets.

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