Pictures:

How did Bill's hitch-hiking trip go when nobody gave him a ride?

It went without a hitch.

1711

Why are visitors to the zoo sometimes directed by mistake to the room with the bats?

People think they asked where the bat room is.

3016

What word and number indicate the winner of a race?

Won and 1.

721

What water do athletes drink when they use the trampoline?

Spring water.

1216

Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

501

What do lawyers do?

They insert and remove claws in clauses.

247

What do you call someone with no capacity at all for gardening?

A blooming idiot.

1147

Why couldn't the broken piano get into the house?

It was missing the keys.

3101

Why did the head of the school demand respect?

It was the principle of the thing.

2124

Why did Joe like working in the spring more than the fall?

He didn't like being the fall guy.

470

What do you call a student with a private tutor?

He's in a class all by himself.

35

Why do we regard wine as special?

Because it is from de vine.

880