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What did the mountain climber call his memoire?

Cliff's Notes.

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Why do most adults stop enjoying puns once they get older?

They become groan-ups.

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What is exercizing at home called?

The home stretch.

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What do you call someone who is an expert at choosing clocks for counter-tops?

Counter clock wise.

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Why did John keep 2 bags of carrots in the freezer, with 12 carrots in each bag?

He wanted 24 carrots cold.

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What is this called?

The last straw.

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How did Max feel about the lack of oxygen on top of the mountain?

Both the air and the views were breath-taking.

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Why did the graffiti artist stop before he was arrested for vandalism?

He read the writing on the wall.

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How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

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How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

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Why are people who used to be perts very smart?

Because they are ex-perts.

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How did the teacher feel about the dry-erase white board.

He thought it was remarkable.

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