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Why did Jill buy a Jiffy car?

Because she wanted to go places and come back in a jiffy.

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What did Barry say when he was told about a newsstand that he didn't know about?

That's news to me.

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Why did the magazine publisher go to a therapist?

He had a lot of issues.

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What do you call someone who is very good at finding things?

Pro found.

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What type of gopher is the most difficult to keep out of a celery patch?

A stalker

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If a scientist no longer finds a theory as 'testable', how does he now regard it?

He now regards it as 'de-testable'.

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When Bobby threw a ball as hard as he could, why did it just come back to him?

He threw it up in the air.

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How did Jeff feel when he lost the speech that he was going to give in an hour?

He was speechless.

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What famous saying does this represent?

Two bees or not two bees.

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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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Why were the students inspired by their teacher to try their best to spell words correctly?

They were spell bound.

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What's another way of saying that it seems that I have 4 pears?

It appears that I have a pair of a pair of pears.

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