Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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If the animals on Noah's ark could play musical instruments, what would it be called?

An arkestra.

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Akiva Lane
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How did Beth like her job ironing shirts?

She was ironing bored.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jim went to the seashore at dawn, how did he feel when the early morning mist cleared?

He had liked being in the midst of the mist, and he missed the mist.

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Shane Ronay
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Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

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Akiva Lane
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What does the sound of ducks and unsound docs have in common?

They are both quacks.

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Moshe Sherizen
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What is full of holes but still can hold a lot of water?

A sponge.

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Akiva Lane
General
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How is a liquor store similar to a nursery of babies?

They both have fine whines.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the table cloth say to the table?

Don't be concerned, I've got you covered.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call someone who tries to reduce the time you have to wait for doctors?

A wait lifter.

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Akiva Lane
General
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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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Akiva Lane
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Why does the calendar have a good social life?

It has a lot of dates.

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Akiva Lane
General
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Bill saved his pennies all year to buy a present for his wife, and brought them to a store, and do you know what he got?

A hernia.

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