Pictures:

This is our new dog, Crusty.

All he does is loaf around all day.

1786

What do you call a bathroom for both men and women?

A democratic potty.

2979

Why is a pet lusion that seems to be sick not really sick?

Because it's an ill lusion.

1612

Why is voting "Nay" more direct than voting Aye"?

It's straight from the horse's mouth.

1817

What do doctors and musicians have in common?

They both use instruments.

2426

Why was the vegetarian disappointed at the dinner party?

He thought sweetbreads came from a bakery.

754

What do you call online support for barbers?

Eclips

2130

What is a coat with only sleeves called?

A coat of arms.

1157

Why did King Midas make a well?

He thought, I might as well.

1836

What is as important as a good watch dog?

A good CAT scan

284

What is it called when the detergent is on the top shelf?

High Tide.

836

What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

1602