Pictures:

What happens every year in the universe?

We celebrate its universe-ary.

3103

Why did Sam sing while he built houses?

He wanted to build them soundly.

2798

What do you call a doctor who prescribes a daiquiri cocktail flavored with hickory?

A hickory daiquiri doc.

416

Why didn't the actor work on Passover?

He couldn't have any roles.

3022

How did Amanda feel about the fact that science doesn't understand why people are ticklish?

She thought it was mys-tickle.

1110

Why is the school excavating?

They needed a level playing field.

1295

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

How did the pig feel when the other pigs in the pig-hole called him a 'square'?

He felt like a square pig in a round hole.

1337

What part of a computer screen doesn't speak so nicely?

The cursor.

3076

Right after the Smith family moved to a new house, what did they find it required?

Out of the box thinking.

1128

What do you call a tax on things that people do wrong?

Syntax.

462

Why don't ATM machines provide quarters?

It doesn't make cents.

2240