Pictures:

What do you call software whose sales are flat?

Flatware

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What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

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What do you call kids eating chips?

The munch and crunch bunch.

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Why did the plumber do this in response to the judge?

He thought the judge asked for water in the court.

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What is the motto of a store that sends packaged liver to customers?

We deliver de liver.

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What items does someone most need to weather an emergency?

Staples

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How did Joe feel when he reached to pick up a stick, and it turned out to be a rattlesnake?

He felt rattled.

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Why did Amanda move slowly on days that she didn't eat in order to lose weight?

She moved slowly on fast days.

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What is 100-proof Wild Turkey?

Seeing a wild turkey with your own eyes.

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When Samantha's parrot flew away, what shape did it remind her of?

Polygon.

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Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

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Why are the internal parts of the body called organs?

Because they are all so well organized.

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