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Akiva Lane
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How do you translate MS/DOS from Hebrew to English?

Honest Thinking (Emes Das)

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Akiva Lane
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Why did the employee make sure he never signed his name twice?

He was concerned that if he re-signed, he'd be out of a job.

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Akiva Lane AI
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Why do we have to be careful with people who appear smart, and claim to be 'sincere'?

Though they might seem like a 'seer', they might not mind 'sinning'.

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Akiva Lane
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What day is just before a birthday?

Labor day.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did this make Mike confused?

He didn't know if it was a scissors or a pair of scissors.

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Shane Ronay
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What do you call an airline founded by a group of inheritors?

United Heirlines

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Shane Ronay
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How did the man who ate nothing but vegetable soup for decades live to be 100?

He took good stock in himself.

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Akiva Lane
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What symbol is written before it is pronounced?

The dollar sign.

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Akiva Lane
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Are outsiders allowed into the room called the 'well' in the Justice Department?

No, but it's just-as-well.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the sculptor do before he sculpted the subject's head?

He had to plan a head.

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Akiva Lane
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What are some things a person can do if they are stuck thinking about the past?

The can buy 'presents' for other people, or go to a river and look at the 'current'.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called if someone thinks they can learn Torah by listening to Beatle music?

Beatle Torah.

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