Pictures:

What did the person who slept on a hard surface say when waking up?

I hardly slept.

2307

What do you call someone who is an expert about alarm clocks?

An alarmist.

1588

Why did Jim's friends buy him a 10-foot pole?

Now he has a 10-foot pole to not touch objectionable things with.

577

What was Bill's reaction when he found a hole in the wall of the outhouse?

"I need that like a hole in the head'.

1219

What do you call a story about a mouse that lives in 2 cities?

A Tail Of Two Cities.

3085

What 2 letters do you say when you realize something?

I C

1941

After someone stole Bobby's clothes while he was swimming, did he get home without people seeing him?

Yes, but just barely.

301

Why did Ben wear double-pane eye glasses?

He wanted to four-see what would happen.

2347

What is this pitcher doing?

He's pitching a tent.

2860

Why was Bobby's mother concerned with he came home from school with this sheet of paper?

He came home with a black 'i'.

3158

What do shoes and noses have in common?

They both smell.

1753

What is the land called where an acting troupe builds a stage?

A play ground.

2172