Pictures:

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

2875

Why was the carpet depressed?

It felt a lack of respect because everyone walked all over it.

2738

What has four wheels and flies.

A garbage truck.

510

Why didn't Johnny want to wear fringes on his clothes like some of his friends?

He didn't want to be part of a fringe group.

357

What vegetable jumps into the deep end of the pool?

The endive.

1719

How do baseball players keep in touch with each other?

They touch base with each other.

739

What kind of clothes do polar bears wear?

Polar shirts.

3202

When Marsha told her husband on the phone that she was late, why did he call the police?

She said she was being held up.

1621

When John learned to play a musical instrument with his ear, what was the result?

He could play it by ear.

649

What is the moment called when you decide if and how much you will tip a waiter?

The tipping point.

2114

What do you call a new one ounce bottle of perfume with a subtle fragrance?

A new ounce with a nuance.

2753

Which sea creature is stranger than a platypus?

An odder

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