Pictures:

What security related word has a sword in it?

Password.

1639

What happened when the drummer rejoined the marching band?

There were repercussions.

1257

If you travel through many seas, what sea has the money?

The currency.

2659

Why did Jerry choose to work with the elderly?

He enjoyed other Jerry-atrics.

246

Which device measures carbohydrates?

A carburetor

841

What is it called when trumpet players play their trumpets in response to each other?

A toot for a toot.

923

What are light bulbs that are very heavy called?

Heavy bulbs.

894

What is the official nut of schools and educators?

mACADEMIA nuts

789

What was the result of the pig race?

The winner squeeked by.

594

If there was an earthquake in California, who would be blamed?

People would probably say it was San Andreas fault.

1952

What excuse can be used by a person who drinks too much?

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.

610

How did the baseball player feel about baseballs that land close to home plate?

He felt they were hitting too close to home.

765