Pictures:

When did the mother of a newborn boy wake up?

At son rise.

1489

Why were Bill's friends always calling him up?

Because his nickname was 'Up'.

3234

How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

1691

What is the difference between giving something away for free and charging a fee for it?

The letter R.

2234

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?

With a pumpkin patch.

2107

What does the NLRB do?

They oversee support groups for expectant mothers.

2586

What did the cemetery director say when a man bought one grave, and then another for his wife?

"Hmm...the plot thickens!"

255

How does a salesman fasten a customer's attention to a sales pitch?

It has to be fasten-ating.

2025

What do you call a bathroom for both men and women?

A democratic potty.

2979

What happens to an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

461

What do you call a seamstress that doesn't know how to sew?

A seemstress.

1912

Why did the husband and wife enjoy scuba diving together?

They liked the feeling of being in sink with each other?

3104