Pictures:

Akiva Lane
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How do you describe a seagull that believes everything you say?

Gullible.

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Akiva Lane
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What did Jimmy call the money he made from selling thumb tacks?

Income tacks.

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Akiva Lane
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How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

Why is ethics like art?

You have to know where to draw the line.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What did the clock repairman say when you asked when the talking clock will be fixed?

Time will tell.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

Why was Sally afraid that the vegetables would slap her?

Because she knew they were fresh.

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Akiva Lane
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What might a person be on if they can't be heard?

On mute.

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Akiva Lane
General
Picture

What do you call a hyphen that is the size of a football field?

A hundred yard dash.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Peter bite into a packet of money?

People told him he should put his money where his mouth is.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when you 'burn the midnight oil' to stay awake studying for midterm exams?

Term oil.

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Akiva Lane
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Picture

When does fore plus fore equals four.

The forelegs of one horse and the forelegs of another horse adds up to four legs.

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Yitzchak Berger
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What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

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