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What are the coolest inventions?

The air conditioner and the refrigerator.

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What does superman use to keep the sun from his eyes?

A super visor.

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What does a popular website have in common with a highway at rush hour?

They both have a lot of traffic.

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What did the wagon driver call his story about his horse that wouldn't slow down?

Tales of woah.

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Why was this year's Chili Cook-off cancelled?

Somebody spilled the beans.

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What do carbon atoms do before they get married?

Carbon dating.

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What happens when King Charles has a bad dream?

It's a royal nightmare.

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What is news from last week called?

Olds.

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Why did Bill often get angry easily?

He went around with a chip on his shoulder.

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Does before come after after, and does after come before before?

Alphabetically yes.

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What did the midwife say to the woman starting to give birth?

Please bear with me.

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Why did Evelyn dislike being near chickens?

Because they used fowl language.

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