Pictures:

What happened with Fred by mistake gave his wife glue stick instead of chapstick?

Now she's not talking to him.

2982

Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

1048

What do you call two siblings that are sleeping next to each other?

Nap Kins

2551

What did Ben say when the tanks came and saved his village during the war?

Tanks.

101

What happens when you put on a thick sweater and get very hot?

You become the sweater.

1918

What do you call someone who measures how much status people have?

A statustician

2397

What's an attitude in life that can make things harder?

Taking things for granite.

1602

What is it called when a prisoner sends a text message?

Con-text.

1968

How did the can opener get its name?

Because it 'can' open things.

1691

Why did the prisoner ask the judge to put words on a train?

Because he wanted the judge to commute his sentence.

412

What do you call someone who steals dishes from a housewares store?

Dish-honest.

2886

What do you have to be careful not to add to the color violet?

The letter N because it would become violent.

2276