Pictures:

What would happen if Earth was attacked by giant spiders from outer space?

A world wide web.

1537

What is a good name for a locksmith that serves food?

Bagels and locks.

886

Why did the city clean up it's large city dump?

Because people felt that its waste line was unsightly.

1636

What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

1036

Why was Benjy, who was quite large, like a clock?

His nickname was Big Ben.

1880

Why were the homeowner's dogs silent when a burglar came and went?

They were hush puppies.

1289

How did Linda react when she saw that her bank balance started with a minus sign?

She thought it was a bad sign.

1448

What color coat is like a bee?

A yellow jacket.

1866

How does one get men to listen?

Stress to "He'd" his words.

1483

What is an ancient Celtic who is very flexible called?

A fluid druid.

616

What bidding in the bridge card game do Democrats like?

No trump.

662

What do you say when you see an elephant?

You mongous!

1527