Pictures:

To measure the size of a bagel, how much of the bagel do you include?

You include the whole.

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Why is sitting sometimes difficult?

You have to sit down and sit up at the same time.

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What helps traction in marriage?

Attraction.

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How did people feel when the Eastern and Western railroads met?

They were glad to make ends meet.

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What do you call a Hippopotomus that is a phony?

A hippo-crite.

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Why was WC Fields not very popular in England?

Because of his first initials.

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What location do these symbols refer to?

Times Square.

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What do you call someone who is against hypocrisy?

A faux foe.

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What do you call a very elaborate rap song?

A rap-sody.

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Why did this company have a bad reputation?

They were suspected of monkey business.

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Why did Max pay a lot of money for a bed?

Because it was a bedder bed.

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How did Gary build a successful drainpipe business?

Having his mind in the gutter.

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