Pictures:

What is this optician doing?

He's seeing eye to eye with his patient.

1793

What do animals and coins have in common?

They both have heads and tails.

2613

What song is encouraging to the letter C?

Oh say can you C?

3273

What was the main fruit in Noah's ark?

Pears.

80

Why did Betty fix her watch quickly?

She wanted to have a good time.

518

What was Sylvia's reaction to the box of cookies falling on the floor?

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

605

What ancient city was named after the wife of Uncle Ock?

Antioch

1192

What did the law student you liked liquor knew he had to do?

He had to pass the bar in order to pass the bar.

3295

What is the difference between an optometrist and a psychologist?

One is an eye doctor and the other is an 'I' doctor.

3243

Why wasn't Tom happy with the fund his broker suggest he buy?

The feeling wasn't mutual.

383

Why did the telephone wires want to go to a therapist?

Because they were high strung.

2875

What do you call a scientist whose funding got taken away?

A mad scientist.

417