Pictures:

Shane Ronay
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A book about basement renovation ideas?

Best Cellars

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a daisy with a bad sense of balance?

A whoopsie daisy.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Suzy avoid eating peaches?

After eating the fruit, it was the pits.

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Shane Ronay
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How was the woman able to remember to buy a new pail?

It was on her bucket list.

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Akiva Lane
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When you pay a therapist for a session, what does the therapist expect back?

Change.

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Akiva Lane
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Why are lawyers happy?

Because they're always dealing with parties.

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Akiva Lane
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If the animals on Noah's ark could play musical instruments, what would it be called?

An arkestra.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Sam wear waterproof shoes to work?

It was a new job, and he was getting his feet wet.

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Akiva Lane
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When Arnie said that he preferred to learn accordion rather than piano, what were his parents reaction?

They changed his music teacher accordingly.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a scientist who measures how big things are?

A size-mologist.

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Akiva Lane
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How much does marriage change a relationship?

It completely altars it.

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Akiva Lane
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What did the seamstress say when she couldn't fix a hole in a sweater?

Oh darn it!

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