Shane Ronay
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What was the computer monitor's New Year's resolution?

1920 X 1080, same as it was the year prior.

1834
Akiva Lane
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What is the difference between a child and Shakespeare?

One is involved with play, and the other is involved with plays.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the problem with a small group of people controlling a country?

It's just us, instead of justice.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when a leader demands that everyone kneel down to him?

Tyra-knee.

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Shane Ronay
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Why are bakery employees so nice to their customers?

They know where their bread is buttered.

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Shane Ronay
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What is one way to eliminate ants around your shrubs?

Beat around the bush.

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What is it called when people hold that only their belief system is valid?

Pious bias.

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Shane Ronay
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Why did the man travel to India for a corned beef sandwich?

He heard they had a new Delhi.

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Shane Ronay
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Which medical specialty focuses on interior design for hospitals?

Roomitology

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Where do small burps live?

In the sub-burps.

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What do palm trees and calendars have in common?

They both have a lot of dates.

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What did the Arial, Helvetica, and Courier fonts say to each other?

You're not my type.

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