Pictures:

How did the "Closed" sign read at the smoke shop?

Close...but no cigar!

1792

What do you call a woodworker who can make a chair out of a flat piece of wood?

Chair man of the board.

2486

What kind of running results in having less of something?

Running out of something.

2047

How did the squirrel corner the market on acorns?

He opened many branches.

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Why did bill choose gastroenterology as a medical specialty?

He had a gut feeling.

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What do employment recruiters and cannibals have in common?

They're both called head hunters.

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How do you describe a seagull that believes everything you say?

Gullible.

2822

What looks like white paint and smells like blue paint?

White paint.

1755

What color coat is like a bee?

A yellow jacket.

1866

How did Martha feel when she cut her vegetables into very small pieces?

Grate.

585

Which dog breed enjoys a traditional Jewish breakfast?

Beagles

1520

How can we summarize that Bill ruined his life because of a gambling addiction?

He threw away paradise for a pair of dice.

2424