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Akiva Lane
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Why did Amy avoid dating men who publish magazines?

She found they often had issues.

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Akiva Lane
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What do you call a troop of soldiers with long hair?

The hair force.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Arnold print out the word MONEY and put it into his chopped liver?

He wanted to spread the word.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the motto of chiropractors?

We're got your back.

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Akiva Lane
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What is a doctor called that treats conditions caused by ticks?

A tick doc.

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Akiva Lane
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What can you say about someone who thinks he will make a lot of money playing dice?

He's in a fool's para-dice.

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Akiva Lane
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How did they describe the situation where the band's bass players were drunk?

The basses were loaded.

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Akiva Lane
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How can you help people who are suspicious?

Change the first letter of suspicious from S to A, to make it auspicious.

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Akiva Lane
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What is an airplane that is inherited called?

An heir plane.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Terrie Gross's boyfriend find her mysterious?

Because her name was Miss Terrie.

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Akiva Lane
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What is called if a lawyer charges nothing to help write a will?

Free will.

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Akiva Lane
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Why was the family alarmed when grandma got up from her rocking chair?

Because she was off her rocker.

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