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Why did Barry get heartburn when he ate the birthday cake?

He forgot to take off the candles.

963

What's another name for Shakespeare in the Park, that does not charge an entrance fee?

Free Will.

624

During negotiations, why did one side suggest that they continue at the local diner?

They wanted to make a counter offer.

2437

What is a lawyer's favorite girl's name?

Sue.

428

When is door not a door?

When it's ajar.

496

What is a clumsy bee called?

A bumble bee.

1197

If there was an earthquake in California, who would be blamed?

People would probably say it was San Andreas fault.

1952

What do you call a hippie who is a phony?

A hippie-crit.

1130

Why did John keep 2 bags of carrots in the freezer, with 12 carrots in each bag?

He wanted 24 carrots cold.

2553

What is a gym called filled with people who want to lose weight?

A waist land.

71

How did Oedipus feel after he found out what he had done?

He felt like an Oedipus wreck.

1948

What did the circus do to the trapeze artist who wasn't performing well?

It suspended him.

2211