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Why was Alan not sure he liked playing trumpet in the band?

Because afterwards he felt like he blew it.

2101

What permission is needed to kill lice?

A lice sense.

2819

Why didn't Bill want to work in the ice cream factory?

He didn't like working on sundaes.

3100

What do you call it when a person wants to jump into a sewer?

Sewer-cide.

107

After a long winter, how did the tree feel in the spring?

It felt releaved.

3115

What do you call someone in a doctor's office that is in a hurry to see the doctor.

Im-patient.

3174

What was the result of Joe not having enough self-control with eating?

He found that it was a big waist.

18

What is the version of Arabian Nights that takes place in Rome?

Al-Latin.

154

What do you do when your electrical system short-circuits?

Re-fuse to make it work.

845

What do you call someone who is always drinking coffee?

A caf-fiend.

1982

Why are weddings often done under canopies?

To say that marriage is in tents.

1673

When submarines do naval exercises, what are they called?

Sub routines.

2400