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Akiva Lane
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What did the Mayor say when the workers put street signs upside down?

This is not a good sign.

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Akiva Lane
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What's high in the middle, and round at both ends?

The word Ohio.

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Akiva Lane
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When Jerry looked at his legs, how did he know that he was eating too much?

His calves had become cows.

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Akiva Lane
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When Mark heard his friend say 'I saw her in this dress', why did he get alarmed?

He thought he said, 'I saw her in distress'.

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Akiva Lane
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What is it called when someone decides not to do costmetic surgery on their face?

They're doing an about face about their face.

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Shane Ronay
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How did the asphalt worker react to his foot being run over by a steam roller?

He was quite impressed.

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Akiva Lane
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Why did Bill avoid using sucking candies?

He didn't want to be considered a sucker.

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Akiva Lane
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What are chicken wings that originated in Buffalo New York called?

Buffalo wings.

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Akiva Lane
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What is the result of the fact that there are 7 trillion nerves in the human body?

Sometimes we feel like a bundle of nerves.

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Akiva Lane
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What made Ted the Teddy bear so smart?

He really knew his stuff.

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Akiva Lane
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When a man and a woman go on a date, how many kinds of dates are there?

Among others: accomodate, candidate, consolidate, elucidate, update, raindate, validate, inundate, and intimidate.

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Shane Ronay
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How did Madam Sonia become a fortune teller?

By "chants"

1996