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What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

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Why did Alan collect lots of L's?

He thought it was good to have morals.

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Why didn't Arnie like downhill skiing?

He wasn't inclined to enjoy that kind of activity.

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Why did Beth wear sneakers when she did the wash?

In case the colors would run.

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What is a stretched rope that walks around called?

A tight rope walker.

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Where did Shakespeare learn to write plays as a child?

In the play-ground.

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Why did the bear not want to wear shoes?

It couldn't bear not having bare feet.

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What is a program called that tries to convince people to become doctors?

Indoctorinzation.

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How does one refer to the hallways at mental institutions?

Psycho paths.

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What do you say about someone who buys cheap candy that causes them to gain weight?

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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What is a good 2-part security method?

Beagles and locks.

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What do you call a pair of pants that wants to be forever young?

Peter pants.

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