Pictures:

How did Bill feel after he spent time crushing soda cans?

It was soda pressing.

613

Why did Martha lose weight when she ate vegetables?

Because they took away her appetite.

1048

Why was Mrs. Jones always looking under her son's bed?

She was hoping that there might be something new under the son.

1407

Which type of beer takes longer to make than other beers?

Lager

705

What does Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name.

993

What happened when Billy's mom shouted 'Wake up!', and he just caught the school bus?

It was a close call.

2684

What animal is similar to a tree that looks like a pole?

Poultry.

2866

What happened when they put a lion in the elevator?

It caused an uproar.

2747

What is this man's position at the company?

Chairman of the Bored

1469

What is the status of one's yard after cleaning up after the dog?

It's dooty-free.

1009

How did the medical student choose Ophthalmology as a specialty?

He researched his options, and the eyes had it.

233

Why did Bill want his wife to make pie without sugar?

His sweetie pie's pie was sweet enough.

3096