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What is a side-trip on a vacation called?

A detour on de tour.

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Why did Jenny dislike her job as a stenographer?

Because her boss was a dictator.

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What was Bill's reaction when he got hit in the head with a can of soda?

He felt lucky it was a soft drink.

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How does the chief groundskeeper raise the flag in front of Yankee Stadium?

He uses his staff.

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If you take a pleated skirt, and take the pleats out, what does it become?

Depleted.

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What electronic device is named after an American insect?

USB

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What do athletes and musicians have in common?

They want to make records.

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What sentence commemorates how Isaac, Jacob, and Moses met their wives.

Well, well, well.

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What do you call a broken garbage receptacle?

A has bin.

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Why didn't Martha mind that she had a run in her stockings?

She figured it didn't really matter in the long run.

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What do bats celebrate when they come of age?

Their bat mitzvah.

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What is it called when you use an Apple computer to cut through loads of information to find what you are looking for?

Mac the knife.

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