Pictures:

What did the husband say when he brought his wife flowers?

This bud's for you.

2075

What happened when Billy's mom shouted 'Wake up!', and he just caught the school bus?

It was a close call.

2684

How did the frog feel after he ate?

He felt very hoppy.

680

What happens to an ethical Italian cleaning lady after she passes away?

She's a maid in heaven.

1495

What is someone called who lies about how much he eats?

Dish-onest.

1164

What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?

Prime mates

3222

How does appreciation show one's intelligence?

You're a great fool if your not grate ful.

2243

What's happening here?

A cargo ship is trying to contain itself.

1503

What color coat is like a bee?

A yellow jacket.

1866

Why did the loaf of bread feel insecure?

It felt kneady.

2591

What was the motto of the salami company?

Our wurst is best.

2634

Why do jockeys have a reputation for being lazy?

They horse around all day.

619