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When Emily was on a diet, what were the slowest days?

The fast days.

2109

What is the problem with @, #, %, &, and *?

They think that they are special characters.

31

Why is it hard to organize a professional hide-and-seek tournament?

Good players are hard to find.

972

What were the backyards called that were shared between 9 houses?

The whole 9 yards.

3124

What do you call a chiropractor in Egypt?

A Cairo Practor.

390

Why did Bill have trouble falling asleep?

He was afraid of heights.

3302

Why did Sam get up from bed in the morning?

He decided he wasn't going to take it lying down anymore.

750

How did King Kong feel about the woman he was holding?

He had a crush on her.

1134

How did the pet turtle escape from the box it was in?

With out of the box thinking.

3213

What was Sylvia's reaction to the box of cookies falling on the floor?

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

605

When we feel blessed, why do we feel like singing?

Because the word blessing ends with the word sing.

2762

How often is there a blue moon?

Once in a blue moon.

1849